it hurts more in the daytime
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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