I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Are my feet made of real feet?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
