i already hear my dad disowning me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
