It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
