When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
