i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
