She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
