somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
