You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So vagazzling was a success
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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