He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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