we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
