I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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