playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
