New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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