: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
