we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
