What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
