Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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