Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize