I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
