My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
