he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
