just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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