Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
