I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
