it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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