so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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