You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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