i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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