So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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