Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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