How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
