we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Life is so much better after having sex.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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