made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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