I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
