He felt like a one man threesome
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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