yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
