I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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