I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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