Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
