Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize