At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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