I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Alive.
So much puke
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
