I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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