apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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