I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Barsexuality is the new black.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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