how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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