yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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