question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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