So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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