Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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