I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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