There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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