ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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