so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no you cant smoke seaweed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
