I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
