have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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