so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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