She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize