Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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