You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
